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Bugbee's Popular Plays 



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The Funny 
.. Little .. 

Food Folks 



BY 

WILLIS N. BUQBEE 



Price 25 Cents 



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The Willis N. Bugbee Co. 

SYRACUSE, N. Y. 



A New Play for Intermediate Grades 
Closing Day at Beanville School 

A play for intermediate grades by Willis N. 
Bugbee. For seven boys and eight girls. One of 
the most popular of the grade plays. Just the kind 
of play that teachers and pupils and parents all 
like. Easy to produce. No scenery required. Time, 
30 min. 25 cents. 



A New Play for Grammer Grades 
Uncle Si and the Sunbeam Club 

By Willis N. Bugbee. A new play in two acts 
for grammar grades or lower high schools. For 
seven males and seven females. Has given im- 
mense satisfaction wherever presented. Gives op- 
portunity for two or three songs, or other special- 
ties. Very easy to present. Time, 40 min. 25 cents. 

THE WILLIS N. BUGBEE CO. 

SYRACUSE, N. Y. 



Bugbee's Popular Plays 

A Unique Entertainment for Children 

The Funny Little 
. . . Food Folks 

by 
WILLIS N. BUGBEE 

Author of " Coonville 'Ristocrat Club," " Uncle 
Si and the Sunbeam Club," " Jolly Dialogues," 
" Humorous Homespun Dialogues," etc., etc. 



Copyright 1916 by WilHs N. Bugbee 



THE WILLIS N. BUGBEE CO. 
SYRACUSE, N. Y. 



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2 The Funny Little Food Folks 

CHARACTERS and COSTUMES 

Prof. Heideldorfer, a German scientist. He wears a long 
black coat, striped trousers, very wide standing collar, black 
skull cap, old-style glasses, and carries a cane or short stick, 
also large magnifying glass. This part should be taken by 
an older boy. 

Country Lasses. Two very attractive little girls wear- 
ing light-colored dresses of gingham or muslin, wide-brimmed 
straw hats, or pink and blue sunbonnets. 

Chinese Boy. Wears typical Chinese costume, large coat 
with flowing sleeves, small round hat with queue (ladies 
siuitch) attached to inside of it. 

Japanese Girl. Wears kimona with large figures and a 
wide sash. She carries parasol and fan. The hair should be 
done up in typical Japanese style. 

Irish Boy. Wears very short jacket or coat, large green 
bow at neck, soft hat with high crown and narrow brim. 

Italian Girl. A little girl with very dark hair. The 
hair should be done up on head. Yellow or brown dress 
with silk scarf thrown about shoulders. The face should 
be painted dark and large earrings worn. 

German Boy. A fleshy boy should be chosen for this part 
if possible. May be padded as to appear very fleshy. He 
wears a short coat and a flat-crowned cap with forepiece. 

Pickaninny. He wears knee pants, patched at knees, 
suspenders, yellow or red waist, dilapidated straw hat, and 






SEP I4(9!6 ■ 
0)CI.D 44948 



The Funny Little Food Folks 3 

old shoes out at the toes. If preferred, he may appear bare- 
footed. Hands and face should be blackened. 

Note. A little grease paint may be used to good advan- 
tage in making up German, Irish and other character parts. 

STAGE SETTING. 

Across the center of stage should be placed a row of barrels 
and boxes as follows: 



12 3 4 5 6 7 8 

1-2. Barrels labeled "Pure Country 'Lasses." 

3. Carton or barrel with Chinese characters and the word 
"Rice" on front. 

4. Two tea chests, one placed above the other. 

5. Barrel labeled "Irish Potatoes." 

6. Two or three boxes placed one above the other, and 
each labeled " Macaroni/' 

7. Barrel labeled " Sauer Kraut.'' 

8. Two bushel baskets fastened together and covered with 
green crepe paper or cloth. A white card may be attached 
announcing " First Prize/' or " Pride of Alabama." 

These barrels or boxes should stand closely together with 
pieces of colored cloth or crepe paper between to form a solid 
front across the stage. The backs of the boxes and barrels 



4 The Funny Little Food Folks 

may be removed if desired to make it easier for the children 
to emerge from them. 

The melon is easily made as indicated. A little boy will 
pot find it difficult to curl up within the two inverted baskets. 
The inside of baskets may be lined with red cloth, 

A small stand may be placed at one side, if desired, for 
the Professor's use. 

Note. The tune " For That Is All They Know " will be 
found in " Merry Melodies" (price 15 cents). "The Snowy 
Blanket " will be found in " Nonabel Songster No. 1 " (price 
10 cents). Address the publishers of this book. 

THE FUNNY LITTLE FOOD FOLKS 

As the curtain rises a short lively medley is played by pianist. 

{Enter Prof. Heidelhofer. He steps to the front of stage, 
bows low to audience, and proceeds to deliver his " lecture."^ 
Prof. H. 

Goot evening, ladies und shentlemans und efrybody. I am 
der great Professor Heideldorfer und I haf come to gif my 
famous lecture on " Der Merits of Pure Food." Efrybody 
should be interested in pure food. Food dat is not pure is 
impure. Dat is plain to be seen. Impure food is full of bugs, 
or as scientists call dem, microbes und sherms und — und — 
und — vat else is it dhey is full of anyvay? Oh, I knows 
now — dhey is full of hysteria — no dat is not right — it is bac- 
teria. I'll tell you some more about dhose microbes und 
sherms. Dhey is leetle animals vat you don't see mit your 
undressed eye — dat is der naked eye. You haf to look dhroo 



The Funny Little Food Folks 5 

a telescope to see dem. Dhey vas so shmall dat apout forty- 
leven thousand of dem could hold a convention on der end of 
a needle und haf room for more. But ach — dhey vas shpr\ 
leedle fellers und dhey make us more drouples as a couple of 
k'ds. Dhey make leedle shilterns haf der measles und der 
mumps und der hen pox — oder I mean der shicken-pox, und 
lots of udder tings vat I don't haf time to mention. I yoost 
gif }ou peoples varning to watch out for dhose sherms und 
microbes. Dey vas dangerous tings to get acquainted mit — 
j^oost so pad as gunpowder or bombshells or submarines. Dhey 
vas found in der air und der vater und der victuals, und if 
you don't vant dem around j'ou should keep efryting clean as 
never vas. Dhere vas two kinds of sherms — der goot sherms 
und der pad sherms, but it vas der pad vons I vas telling you 
of. Dhey is der vons vat makes all der mischiefs. ( Turn to 
roiv of barrels, etc.) Maybe you haf notice dhese poxes und 
parrels. Dhey vas samples of food from all parts of der vorld 
vat I haf brought to illustration my lecture. Der first vons 
here {indicating i and 2) are samples of " pure country 
'lasses." Dhey don't need any further explanationing because 
efrybody knows vat " country 'lasses " is. Dhese samples vas 
der product of your own America. {Strikes barrels carelessly 
with cane as he speaks. Tzuo little girls suddenly bob up and 
sing the following to the tune of " For That Is All They 
Know.") 

We're little country 'lasses, oh! 

As sweet as we can be; 
We're not the harmful kind of germs. 

That's plain enough to see ; 



6 The Funny Little Food Folks 

We love to romp and frolic, too ; 

We're full of fun and glee, 
For country 'lasses, sweet and pure, — 

Yes, sweet and pure are we. 

Chorus. 
We're sweet as we can be. 

As sweet as we can be, 
We're little country 'lasses, oh! 

As sweet as we can be, 

Prof. H. Ach Himmel! Such big sherms! But nefer mind, 
dhey vas der goot kind. Now here vas a sample of some rice 
from China. Der Chinese vas great hands for rice. Dhey 
could eat it more as a dozen times a day maype, und dhey 
use some funny leedle shticks to eat it mit. Ach, dhose Chinese 
vas funny peoples! I haf examined dis rice more as a couple 
of times already und I don't find me any microbes. It vas 
der pure article. (Strikes barrel with cane and Chinese boy 
appears. He sings as follows.) 

John Chinko lives by Pekintown 

Away in Chinaland; 
He raises rice so nice and white 

And sends to Melican man. 
One day he hid himself away, 

Down in this barrel of rice 
Because he likee Melican land 

And Melican ways so nice. 



The Funny Little Food Folks 7 

Chorus. 

The Melican waj's are nice, 

The Melican ways are nice, 
You see I likee Melican land 

And Melican ways so nice. 

Prof. H. Py cracious! Anudder sherm! But it vas der 
goot kind again. Here ve haf a pox of tea vat come from 
Japan. Efry year der Japanese vimmens pick der leafs from 
der pushes of¥ und dhry dem mit der sun, and ven dhey vas 
dhry dey pack dem into poxes und send dem ofer here for you 
to drink. I haf examined dis tea mit der telescope und dhere 
vas no sherms. Shoost look at der funny pictures on der box. 
(Strikes box with cane. Japanese girl appears.) 

Prof. H. Dunder und blitzen! 

{Japanese girl sings.) 

I've come across the ocean wide, 

From far-away Japan, 
A midget from the Orient, 

With parasol and fan. 
And every day I'm blithe and gay, 

A merry Japanee; 
I'll tell you how I came to you — ■ 

'Twas in this box of tea. 

Chorus. 

'Twas in this box of tea, 

'Twas in this box of tea, 
I'll tell you how I came to you, 

'Twas in this box of tea. 



8 The Funny Little Food Folks 

Prof. H. Dhere vas four sherms already, und such pig 
vons I nefer saw before. Efry times I hits a parrel or pox 
mit niein shtick out comes anudder von. {Looks at label 
through glass.) Veil, here is der pest von of all — a parrel of 
sauer kraut. You vill oxcuse me if I take me a mouthful 
of it. {Reaches into barrel and pretends to eat sauer kraut.) 
Ach, dot vas goot. It haf yoost enough sherms in it, but dey 
vould nefer harm you in der least. I yoost hit dot parrel mit 
mein shtick und see vot happen. {Strikes barrel and German 
boy appears. He may shake hands with the professor if de- 
sired, then sings.) 

I am a deeferent kind of sherm — 

A Sherman from der Rhine 
Vhere all der folks grow pig und fat 

On sauer kraut und vine. 
Dhose sherms vot lif in food und air, 

Oh, dhey vas awful sphry, 
But von ting you should ought to know, 

A deeferent sherm am I. 

Chorus. 

A deeferent sherm am I, 

A deeferent sherm am I, 
Dhere's von ting you should ought to know, 

A deeferent sherm am I. 

Prof. H. Das is right. He is a deeferent kind of sherm. 
He is more harmless as he looks. But now I know vot is 
der matter mit mein shtick. It vas dot old vitch vomans 1 
lent it to yesterday. She haf bewitched it. Veil, now ve see 



The Funny Little Food Folks 9 

vot is next. {Examines name on box.) Vot you tink? A 
pox of macaroni from Italy. Dot is vot makes der Italian 
peoples so shturdy, maype. Anyvays I don't find me any 
sherms unless dhey vas hiding avay in dhose leedle pipe shtems. 
{Strikes box ivith cane and Italian girl appears. She sings.) 

I come from sunny Italee 

All by maself alone; 
Da people eat spaghetti dhere, 

And nica macaron', 
And if there's any mica-robe, 

They are so very small, 
Da people eat da macaron' 

And mica-robe and all. 

Chorus. 

They are so very small, 

They are so very small, 
Da people eat da macaron' 
And mica-robe and all. 

Prof. H. Py shiminy. Dis vas such a surprise party. Now 
let us see vot is next. {Examines label.) Och, a parrel of 
Irish potatoes. Dey vas planted in der shpringtimes and dug 
oup again in der fall — und here dhey is. I yoost try mein 
shtick again. {Strikes barrel and Irish boy appears. Sings.) 

Oh faix an' have yez heard the news 

That's goin' all around? 
They're killin' all the microbes off 

As fast as they are found, 



10 The Funny Little Food Folks 

An' I am scared almost to death 

For fear they will get me. 
I'll tell yez jist the rason why — 

Me nam.e is " Mike," you see. 

Chorus. 

Me name is " Mike " you see, 

Me name is " Mike " you see, 
An' that rs jist the razon why — 

Me name is " Mike " you see. 

Prof. H. Veil, vot you tink of dot? I should be afraid 
if I had der looks of him. Now I knows it vas der old vitch 
vot got into mein shtick. Veil, der last sample ve haf is a 
vatermelon from der state of Alabama. It vas der piggest 
vot could be found. I don't know if dhere vas microbes on der 
inside of it or not, but ve vill soon find out und maype you 
should all have a piece. (Strikes ?nelon with cane whereupon 
the baskets are pushed apart and out jumps a pickaninny. He 
sings as folloivs.) 

Dar was a little pickanin' 

Way down in Alabam', 
An' ebrybody knowed his name 

As " Watermillion Sam." 
He eat so many melons dat 

He nebber growed up big. 
But alius stayed a little coon — 

A little yaller nig. 



The Funny Little Food Folks 11 

Chorus. 
A little yaller nig, 

A little 3'aller nig, 
He alius stayed a little coon — 

An' I'se dat little nig. 

{J simple cake zvalk may be i?ttroduced if desii-ed.) 

Prof. H. Py Gracious! Such a funny lot of sherms and 
microbes I nefer saw in mein life, aber dhey are all der goot 
vons. Now as dis is der endings of mein lecture I vants to 
thank you all for your kind attentions here dis evening, und 
I gifs you final varning to look out for dhose sherms und 
microbes. 

He steps into line zuith others and all join in singing 



The Funny Little Food Folks. 
Tune, " The Snowy Blanket." 

Oh, we are little food folks, 

Yes, funny folks are we. 
The queerest kind of food folks 

That ever you did see; 
We try to do our duty 

To keep things pure and sweet, 
The honey, milk and 'lasses 

And everything you eat. 



12 The Funny Little Food Folks 

Chorus. 

{Repeat air for chorus) 

Oh, we are little food folks 

That never do you harm, 
So don't you get uneasy 

And do not feel alarm ; 
We try to find the bad germs- 

And drive them all away, — 
Oh, won't you come and help us 

To drive bad germs away. 

There are germs of all descriptions. 

You'll find them everywhere; 
You'll find them in the water; 

You'll find them in the air; 
You'll find them in the city; 

You'll find them on the farm; 
But we are little food folks 

That never do you harm. 

Chorus. 



Curtain. 



TWO DECIDED NOVELTIES 

for the Primary Children 

THE MIDGETS' GRAND PARADE 

A delightful pageant of little drills, marches, 
songs, and pantomimes for the tiny tots. Intro- 
duces Mayor, Selectmen, Band, Firemen, Trades- 
people, Suffragettes, etc., of Midget Town, all in 
characteristic costume. Time, 30 min. 25 cents. 

THE FUNNY LITTLE FOOD FOLKS 

A novelty entertainment for children. For five 
boys and four girls or more. Prof. Heideldorfer 
gives his lecture on pure foods and the Funny 
Little Food Folks appear unexpectedly and give 
amusing songs. Easy to get up. Nothing like it 
on the market. Time, about 30 min. 25 cents. 

THE WILLIS N. BUGBEE CO. 
SYRACUSE, N. Y. 



^i>iiiisai>ia!»ai®ji»<)[jsfli®ji5iaiii')t^iiia:®i!^ 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




___________________ 017 400 517 5 



TWO SPLENDID NEW PLAYS 

Hiram and the Peddlers 

A farce in one act by Willis N. Bugbee. For 
five males and two females. Hiram agrees to look 
after the peddlers while his sister Jane attends to 
her baking, and the way he gets taken in is a 
caution. All ends well, however. Pat, the hired 
man, and Deacon Pettingill furnish considerable 
comedy. Time, 30 min. 25 cents. 

The Coonville 'Ristocrat Club 

A negro entertainment in one act by Willis N. 
Bugbee. Fox six males and six females. Repre- 
sents a weekly meeting of the 'Ristocrat Club. One 
of the few negro plays that is entirely free from 
all vulgarity. Suitable for school, church or so- 
ciety. Admits of specialties. Time, one hour. 25 
cents. 

THE WILLIS N. BUGBEE CO. 
SYRACUSE, N. Y. 



Mercantile Press, 345 W. Fayette St., Syracuse, N. V. 



